


5 Times Tina Chen tries to Bone her Wife (+1 Time She Did)

by ilovemiax



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Coitus Interruptus, Comedy, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Sex, F/F, Hank Anderson is a Good Dad, M/M, Mentions of canon character death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Pre-Canon, Tina is married and lesbian, no beta we die like men, one chapter of tragedy, so much domestic fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-01-04 21:15:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18351848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovemiax/pseuds/ilovemiax
Summary: Exactly what the title says.Tina Chen and her wife celebrate their anniversary. Well, they try anyway. For the past five years, something has gone horribly awry on Tina and Amari’s anniversary. This year, Tina is determined to make it work.Takes place pre-canon (chapters 1-4) and post canon (chapters 5-7). All the post canon takes place after my ficCan't Get it Up if the Android's Breathingbut it's not necessary to read this.





	1. The Stupid and Inconvenient Bank Robbery

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! Here are some notes for you if you haven't read my other fic (which isn't necessary).
> 
> 1\. Tina's married.  
> 2\. Her wife is named Dr. Shani Amari.  
> 3\. They love each other very much.  
> 4\. That was all.
> 
> Enjoy the hilarity and some angst (in like one chapter).

“You really think she’s going to be  _ that  _ mad?” Gavin asked poking Tina in the side.

“Of course not, asshole. I just don’t want to be rude. One year of marriage is fucking important.”

Hank scoffed just behind them. Gavin turned around looking purely irritated, “You didn’t have to come here you know.”

“It’s the closest fucking bank asshole. Besides, Chen is right.”

“HA!” Tina jabbed a finger into Gavin’s chest.

“You’re not part of this conversation, Anderson.”

“Neither of you are being quiet so therefore the conversation is open to all.”

Gavin growled and was ready to protest when Hank’s face changed. Tina frowned and even Gavin went silent because Hank’s hand was reaching for his service pistol.

Tina turned around and saw exactly what Hank was looking at. The teller was visibly shaken and the customer in front of her had his gun drawn. Judging by the calm expressions of everyone around them, Tina knew that an alarm hadn’t been raised yet. Any sudden moves and the situation could easily escalate.

“Reed,” Hank muttered softly, “Call for backup. Tina, start evacuating people without drawing too much attention.” Tina and Gavin nodded, already starting their assigned tasks.

“Hey,” Tina spoke to the couple behind her simultaneously moving her jacket so her badge was exposed, “Want to see a picture of my wife?” She offered her phone and lowered her voice softly, “I’m Officer Chen with the DPD, I need you to leave the bank as quietly and as calmly as possible. Can you do that for me?”

The couple’s eyes went wide but they nodded and did as she said quickly exiting the bank. Tina inched her way to the others in the bank alerting them to the present danger and getting them out of the bank as quickly as possible. Finally, once everyone was out, Tina saw Gavin nod indicating that backup was on the way. She made eyes with Hank who remained standing and watching the poor, terrified teller.

Hank pulled his gun with Tina and Gavin following suit. Three against one had good odds and this situation was likely to escalate without any violence.

“Sir,” Hank called out, “I’m going to need you to step away from the teller slowly.”

“And why the fuck should I?” The Robber snapped and whipped around. “Fuck.”

“Detroit Police is why,” Hank answered, “Put your hands in the air and-”

Hank didn’t have the time to finish because suddenly there was a gun in the robber’s hand a shot was fired. A split second after that, there was a bullet between the criminal’s eyes and screaming from the teller.

“Fuck!” Gavin couldn’t help the swear that escaped his lips as he watched the bank robber go down.

“Fuck,” Tina echoed softly. Her abdomen was on fire and something warm was leaking from her side. Her gun clattered to the floor and everything seemed to move in slow motion. Gavin was running towards her, his mouth moving to form her name. She didn’t even register that her knees had buckled until the ground was too close to her face.

Time came rushing back at an uncomfortable speed and Tina was gasping like a fish with Hank already at her side applying pressure to the wound.

Gavin carded his fingers into her hair as comfortingly as he could. “Fuck, Ti, you’re going to be fine. It’s okay, ambulance is on its way.”

“G-gav,” Tina gasped, “T-tell Shani that I love her.”

“Tell her yourself, asshole. You’re gonna live. You got shot, but it’s not that serious.” He was lying and Tina could tell. He looked like he was on the brink of tears and every so often he would glance down at Hank’s bloody hands.

“He’s right,” Hank encouraged in a much calmer tone than Gavin that Tina almost believed him, “It’s not that serious. And if you don’t die here, you wife is going to finish the job.”

“Heh,” Tina forced a laugh, “If I die here, I’m haunting all your asses. Well, my wife’s ass.”

There was a wash of pain and Tina groaned. She was starting to feel cold. “ _ Funny,” _ she thought, “ _ I always thought that was just a TV thing.”  _ And then… nothing.

 

\---

 

“No.” Amari answered flatly glaring at her wife lying on the hospital bed. “Absolutely not.”

“But it’ll be so  _ hot! _ Like forbidden-”

“Exactly! FOR-BID-DEN. And you are here for a reason.”

Tina groaned, “Babe, I’m fine. Tis but a scratch.”

“You were  _ shot! _ ”

“Mildly.”

“I almost lost you!”

“But you didn’t!”   
“Tina!” Amari snapped, “Stop!”

Tina swallowed and stopped her banter. She’s only heard Amari raise her tone in sincere anger once.

“You don’t get it! You are not just my wife, you are my whole world. When you were brought in I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My world was dying and I froze. Not once in my entire career have I ever frozen but when you… when you were wheeled in, I felt so helpless. Like all of my training meant nothing.” Amari dropped her hands to take Tina’s. She held them tightly as if she would disappear if Shani let go.

Tina brought their hands up so she could kiss her wife’s hands, “Shani… I… I’m sorry. I know that’s how you feel and… look, I’m not good with emotions okay? I just didn’t want you to worry about me. I don’t want you to worry that one day I might not come home.”

“You dick,” Amari snapped with no real malice, “Now you know that’s all I’m going to be thinking about!”

“Ah… sorry. But really, my love. I’m a bad bitch and no one can kill me.” At that, a small smile broke out onto both their faces.

“You, my love,” Amari laughed, “are a grade a asshole.”

Tina kissed her wife’s nose, “But I’m your grad a asshole.” The kissed sincerely after that building up into a heated moment before Amari pulled away.

Tina whined childishly, “So… is that a no to hospital sex?”

“Tina Amari-Chen!”

“Yes, Mrs. Amari-Chen?” Tina laughed and sighed, “Fine, okay. No hospital sex. Can I get a kiss though?”

Amari glared at Tina who gave her wife the biggest puppy dog eyes in the world.

“Pwease?” Tina grinned. She was rewarded with a light peck to her lips and flick to her arm.

“That’s an assault of a police officer,” Tina informed with a humorous smirk.

Amari flicked her arm again and pulled away. “I’ll come back to check on you, my love. Try not to die in the process.”

Tina laughed and held up her pinky. “Promise. I love you! Oh, and uh… sorry about ruining our anniversary.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. You’re alive and we’re still together. Yes, it’s our anniversary but it means nothing if one of us is alone. I am all yours, Tina. I love you, no matter what. ‘Till death’ can suck my ass because you’re stuck with me for all eternity.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed that!
> 
> Coming up next chapter: The angsty one (kind of)


	2. The Most Heartbreaking Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amari and Tina are interrupted by an unfortunate phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning: brief mention of canon character death

“Happy Anniversary, my love,” Tina greeted her wife with the biggest grin and a bouquet of weeds bigger than her face.

Amari took the flowers and set them on the table set with shitty take out from Chicken Feed. She wrapped her arms around Tina’s waist and drew her in for a kiss. “Awww, weeds from the street? My favorite.”

Tina laughed and put her arms around Amari’s neck and pressed a kiss to her cheek trailing down to her neck. “Not the from the street. From outside the precinct, babe.”

Amari hummed appreciatively, “You are such an ass. What happened to the real flowers?”

Tina gave a soft whine into Amari’s neck and the pulled away with a pout and deep blush. “I tripped and dropped them into the street where they got run over by traffic.” Amari snorted loudly unable to contain her laughter. “Shani! Don’t laugh!” But even Tina couldn’t help but smile. “So, you wanna tell me what happened to dinner?”

Amari stopped laughing with an embarrassed cough, “I set the kitchen on fire.”

“What!?”

“No, I’m joking. Just the stove.”

“Is the microwave okay?”

“Of course.”

There was silence and then more laughter followed by kissing. “Are we just really terrible at being romantic?” Tina asked.

Amari shook her head, “No, can’t be. The most romantic you’ve ever done was ask me to marry you at the same time I was already down on one knee.”

“And you said yes.”

“Of course I said yes. I fucking love you, asshole.” Amari pressed another kiss to Tina’s lips before pulling away. “Well, I went through all the effort to get us partially shitty takeout so we might as well enjoy it.”

Tina laughed and pulled Amari closer to her with a light teasing pout. “But what if I want to eat something else?”

“Then you can go and order- Oh, OH!” Amari’s face turned red as she realized what Tina was insinuating.

“I love you but sometimes you can be a little dense,” Tina snorted.

“How’s this for dense?” Amari reached forward and snuck her hands just under Tina’s shirt and placing her cold hands on Tina’s warm hips.

Tina yelped and jumped backward. “Rude!” She squealed but grabbed Amari’s hand tugging her toward their bedroom. Amari stumbled after her but they didn’t get very far before the pair were slipping on the kitchen tile and crashed to the floor. 

“Oh shit,” Amari got up to her knees and quickly checked over to see if Tina was hurt.   
Tina batted her hands away and grabbed her wife’s face. “I’m fine, kitchen floor sex is super hot anyway.”

Amari let out a soft growl and crushed their lips together in a moment of pure passion. Her hands didn’t waste any time in dipping under Tina’s pants. “Huh,” she pulled away to smirk as Tina let out a loud obsecne moan, “You’re not wearing underwear.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Tina groaned and lifted her hips seeing more of Amari’s touch.

Amari simply grinned and pressed her thumb against Tina’s clit. She smiled into their kiss relishing in the moan Tina let out into her wife’s mouth.

“We’re wearing too much,” Tina gasped out with her fists in Amari’s sweater.

Amari was about to respond when her work phone went off. 

“No,” Tina groaned in irritation, “not now.” Reluctantly, she let Amari climb off her to grab her phone. She watched as Amari’s face morphed from mild annoyance to horror and concern.

“Yeah,” Amari nodded already starting to grab her car keys, “I’ll be right there.”

“I love you!” Tina called after Amari, “Go be a superhero!”

 

\---

 

It wasn’t until the next day at work that Tina found out why Amari had been called. The doctor who had taken Amari’s shift had been too high on Red Ice to operate on a child that had been brought it. Amari had arrived at the hospital too late and the child had passed away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this ended on a really sad note. I am so sorry.
> 
> Coming up next chapter: poor restaurant health standards


	3. It was Supposed to be a fancy Restaurant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina pulls out all the stops and tries to be fancy with a fancy restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! More coitus interruptus! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> chapter warnings: vomiting

Tina Chen had high expectations. Sort of. After two years of failed anniversary planning and the stress of the previous year, Tina was ready to get some relaxation in. Sort of. This year she was absolutely determined to make sure that her wife would have the best time of her life followed up by some mind-blowing and much needed sex.

This year, Tina had managed to trade her shift with Hank (who no longer wanted to be home following the death of his son and recent divorce) who actually offered to take her shift without her needing to ask. Tina supposed it was better than Hank drinking himself stupid. She couldn’t help but feel bad for the man. Especially since she witnessed Amari’s guilt after arriving at the hospital two minutes too late. But today was not the time for regrets. Today was the day for celebration. A celebration of their love and the years they spent together.

Tina was prepared for everything. She made sure Amari had traded her shift and even created a contingency where someone else would be the on call doctor. Amari would be free for the rest of the night. Tina had found the perfect five star Egyptian restaurant that served the same foods that Amari’s father used to make before he died. Tina wished he could’ve been there to walk Amari down the aisle. She knew he would’ve been so proud of them.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Amari asked as she did her best to apply lipstick with the car’s shaking.

Tina grinned, “I’m just excited for tonight. I hope that it goes well.”

Amari smiled and leaned over to kiss a bright purple lipstick stain on Tina’s cheek. “It will. I know it. You put so much time and effort into making this night perfect when you really didn’t have to. You are the only perfect one I need in my life.”

Even Tina couldn’t stop the blush that spread to her cheeks, “Shani, stop. I’m trying to be romantic here. It’s a grand gesture.”

Amari raised her eyebrow at Tina’s choice in words, “A grand gesture?”

“Okay fine, Gav said it and I liked the sound of it. A grand gesture of love and romance.”

“You know I love him but if his grand gesture is dinner then-”

“Shannniiiiiii,” Tina groaned. 

Amari feigned a sigh, “Alright, I’ll save the teasing for the bedroom.”

“SHANI!” Tina’s face was bright red but she gave her wife a kiss anyway.

 

\---

 

Tina felt fucking horrible. Not an emotional kind or horrible, but a physical one. The restaurant had been all well and good up until desert rolled around and Tina found it almost impossible to actually eat the beautifully decorated cheesecake. As horribly sick as Tina felt, she had to commend herself of on pretending that she was physically okay. She laughed and smiled and held down the contents of her stomach. After all, as soon as they got home there were sexy times to be had and no way in hell was Tina about to fuck this up. They hadn’t celebrated a proper anniversary in two years.

Home, graciously, was only a short fifteen minute drive away which meant that Tina had already downed all the tums she could and hope that she lasted through sex. She slipped on the perfect silk, emerald colored lingerie that she has secretly bought for that night.

_ “Heh,”  _ Tina thought with an immature laugh as she stepped out of the bathroom flaunting her bare skin, “ _ That’s the power of my wife’s pussy.” _

“What on earth are you laughing at?” Amari demanded side eying Tina before she hid her smile behind pressed lips. Clearly, she was impressed by Tina’s choice in sexy undergarment.

Tina shook her head but was unable to keep her idiotic smile at bay. “Your pussy,” she without a single moment of hesitation or shame.

Amari gave her a sharp whack on the arm.

“Kinky,” Tina smirked and crawled onto the bed.

Shani smirked. If Tina wanted to play that game, well then, so could she. “You want this pussy or not?”

Tina was practically purring. She crawled to Amari and nuzzled her neck. “You know that I do, my love.”

“I don’t know,” Amari teased back, “I might need more convincing.”

“My love, I’m so desper-” Tina’s stomach flipped and suddenly the worst possible thing happened. She vomited on her wife.

“BABE OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY!?” Amari went full doctor mode checking Tina for any signs of- well, anything.

“I’m fine,” Tina tried to mumble but it came out as a garble. Another wave of nausea hit her and the contents of her stomach decorated their bed.

 

\----

 

“I am never going to live one down am I?” Tina groaned in agony from her position on the couch. Currently wrapped in a warm blanket straight from the dryer, Tina was doing her very best not to vomit again.

Amari chuckled lightly, “Babe there is nothing to be ashamed about.”

“I’m gonna fucking sue that dumbass restaurant. It was supposed to be fancy!” Tina groaned. “You know what no. I’m gonna fucking arrest all their asses for falsifying their sanitation grading.”

Amari sighed, “Alright, I have to admit that shigella is pretty awful.”

“Awful!? Babe, that means someone shit in the food! Literally, shit in the food!”

“That’s not what that means and you know it. Their cook didn’t was their hands.”

“After taking a shit.”

Amari sighed. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

“Ugh,” Tina groaned and blew a bored raspberry. She gave her wife a sneak look, ‘Does this mean when I get better we’re going to have ‘I’m so glad you survived’ sex?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coming up next chapter: cute domestic shit


	4. That Good Domestic Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina tries a new strategy in her bargain with the anniversary gods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit shorter and more low key. But hey, it's domestic shit. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> No chapter warnings apply.

Tina figured that if she tried hard enough to not try hard enough then everything would be alright. Which mean strategically planning everything around the idea that they were going to have a terrible anniversary. Tina made sure to take on Ben’s shift (the man did just have a baby after all), not buy flowers, make breakfast, and wish her wife a terrible day at work. 

Amari on the other hand took on an extra shift, used all the hot water in the shower, made sure that they both forgot their lunch in the refrigerator, didn’t make coffee, and then also wished her wife a terrible day at work. Now, once everything was said and done they would get all stressed out and probably have the best “blowing off steam” sex.

“Bye Shani!” Tina yelled as Amari dropped her off at work, “You’re an asshole and I love you! I hope something fucks up your day!”

She ignored the horrified looks of her coworkers as Amari yelled back, “I love you more! I hope you have a gruesome case that makes you want to drown your stress in alcohol!” The wives waved their fond goodbyes and Tina couldn’t resist blowing her a kiss.

“Officer Chen?” Tina turned around and saw Connor looking at her with big worried eyes. He looked so much like a kicked puppy that she felt a soft pang in her heart. “Is everything alright?”

“She’s fine Con,” Hank, who was already standing by the door with Nines disappearing into the precinct, called out. When Connor’s only response was to give Hank the same puppy dog eyes, Hank sighed and followed Nines inside.

Tina grinned and clapped Connor on the back, “It’s our anniversary.”

Connor’s eyebrows crinkled with confusion. “I’m afraid I don’t understand. You both said some horrible things to each other preceded by words of affection.”

“Yeah,” Tina acknowledged, “And it’s a new thing we’re trying this year. Now hold on before you jump in with more questions.” She tugged the door open and lead Connor to his desk. Hank, Nines, and Gavin were all watching them curiously. “You see for the past few years of being married we have never had an anniversary that went according to plan. So this year we’re beating chaos to the punch. We fuck everything up now so that later it’ll go great.”

Hank and Gavin were both nodding their approval at Tina and Amari’s plan while the RKs seemed even more confused. “That…” Connor faltered, “that doesn’t make any sense. There are many permutations in which-”

Tina pressed her finger against Connor’s lips, “Hush my sweet summer child-”

“I may have been ‘born’ in August but I am not a child.” Connor replied, “Also, I am Hank’s son not yours.”

Hank sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose to hide the bubbling laughter, “It’s a figure of speech, Con.”

Undeterred, Tina nodded seriously, “The past few years, Amari and I have been trying too hard to make our anniversary perfect. So this year we’re  _ not  _ trying too hard by expecting the worst.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“She’s attempting to bargain with the anniversary gods.” Gavin added as if that helps to explain things more.

“There are no such-”

“Nines, hush.” Tina ordered, “Let me have this.”

 

\----

 

Turned out the anniversary gods were in Tina and Shani’s favors because both had excellent days without any sort of complication. Crime, for some reason was taking a day off because Tina closed two different cases. On the other side, it seemed like no one was getting injured other than a child who came in with a broken arm.

“How was your day?” Tina asked showering Amari with kisses the second she stepped into their living room.

“Oddly calm,” Amari answered with a light frown. “I’m going to shower and get changed. Did you make dinner?”

Tina shook her head and grinned, “You know I didn’t.”

“Aww, I love you so much.”

“I love you too! Now get your butt showered and changed so you can come cuddle me.”

Amari laughed and disappeared into their bedroom. She was glad that their days went relatively well. It seemed like a good break from the normal chaos of their daily lives. And besides, Amari had a backup plan. She knew that one of Tina’s favorite forms of stress relief was mind blowing sex. Therefore, she knew exactly how to do that.

Shani took a few minutes to shower before she dug out her baggiest t-shirt and most comfortable pair of ugly granny panties. As much as Tina loved Amari in lingerie, Shani knew her wife loved her best in comfy sleepwear.

“My love~” Amari sang and stepped into the living room. “Oh, Tina.” She smiled softly seeing her wife passed out on the couch and lightly snoring. Gently, she scooped her up and deposited her onto their bed before slipping under the covers with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next chapter: This time it's Gavin and Nines' fault.


	5. It’s All Gavin & Nines’ Fucking Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina's annoyed that Amari has the day off and she doesn't. So, Amari comes to the precinct to cheer Tina up. With lunch!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! New chapter and some coitus interruptus! Enjoy!
> 
> Oh and hey! Check out [this](https://artrabbitillustration.tumblr.com/post/184348549684/bye-shani-tina-yelled-as-amari-dropped-her-off) super fucking adorable art of Tina and Amari by [artrabbitillustration](https://artrabbitillustration.tumblr.com/) on tumblr! (Art is also at the end of this chapter)

Tina glared daggers at Gavin’s and Nines’ empty desks. Where the fuck were they? They were supposed to be on desk duty after their whole press debacle with that CyberLife lawyer. And they were supposed to be her source of entertainment until their shift was over.

Today was a particularly boring day and all Tina wanted to do was go the fuck home to her wife. But unfortunately, she couldn’t find anyone to take her shift which meant she was stuck working while Amari got to spend her time at home. Or doing whatever she was doing. Without Tina.

Tina stabbed her pencil into her paper coffee cup causing the rest of her drink to spill out and soak her desk along with her uniform.

“Argh!” Tina shoved her chair back and marched to the bathroom to clean herself off. Things were just not going her way and Tina had a suspicion that it was only going to get worse. At least, she mused, their uniforms were designed to be stain proof. She chucked the paper towel into the trash and exited the bathroom.

Upon exiting the bathroom, she was greeted with the sight of the most beautiful angel in the whole fucking world. Shani was holding a handful of break room paper towels and mopping up the mess on Tina’s desk.

“Shani,” Tina’s voice sounded strained even though she meant for it to sound- well, anything but. “You’re here.”

Amari smiled and finished cleaning off her wife’s desk. “Of course I’m here, my love. I knew you were going to be absolutely bored out of your mind so I figured I’d come for a visit.” She held up a brown paper bag, “with the excuse of bringing you lunch of course.”

At that moment Tina’s chest was bursting with so much emotion she was about ready to start crying. “Fuck,” she whispered unable to hold herself back, “fucking hell Shani, I love you so much.” Tina quickly buried her face in her wife’s neck to hide her now teary face.

“Aw, babe,” Amari whispered keeping her voice down to help preserve Tina’s emotionless reputation, “do you want to go sneak off and have sex in an interrogation room?”

And that did it. Tina’s tears evaporated and her libido skyrocketed. “Oh fuck yes I do. Do you?”

Amari smirked, “Why else would I have suggested it? Babe, I am so fucking bored at home without you.”

Tina did a quick look around and saw that no one really cared or was looking. Even a glance at Fowler’s office showed that he was halfway to sleep town. Good. Tina took her wife’s hand and took her towards the break room before making a “detour” to the interrogation rooms. She grinned and placed her palm on the scanner.

[ERROR]

Tina’s eyes narrowed and she glared at the scanner. “What the fuck?” Tina tried again only for the error message to come up once again.

She scowled. No way in hell was some stupid scanner going to stop her from having inappropriate relations with her wife at work. Jimmying the casing off the scanner she thanked Nines for the little trick. Popping the casing back on, she grinned with delight as the error message disappeared and granted her access to the room.

Tina felt her arousal die the second she opened the door. Why? Because she was getting an eyefull of Gavin’s bare ass and Nines’ blissed out face.

“Holy fuck,” Amari clamped her hand over Tina’s mouth to keep from saying anything more. They slammed the door shut and hustled back to the break room.

“Bathroom?” Amari suggested weekly.

Tina shook her head, “I just… I can’t that image out of my head.”

“Me neither…”

“So… I’ll see you at home?”

“Yeah.”

 

\----

 

Tina couldn’t help herself as Gavin and Nines returned to their desks. As pissed off as she was about not being able to have sex with Shani and being unable to stomach her lunch, Tina was delighted by the blackmail she now had. Gavin wouldn’t look her in the eye and it looked like Nines had a permanent blush.

“You know,” Tina said smugly, “I always knew you were a power bottom Nines.”

A pencil cup was chucked at her head.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next chapter: The wives finally get down and dirty


	6. Fucking Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For once, the pair had decided that maybe celebrating anniversaries weren’t for them. After all, the universe wanted to fuck them over every single time. So tonight was just going to be a regular Friday night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPYY FRIDAY HAVE SOME SEX Y'ALL
> 
> Chapter warnings: Fluff and Smut

“Hey babe, how was work?” Tina smiled as the door opened as Amari stepped in. She had dinner going in the oven and was currently fixated on attempting to make an oatmeal cookies. She was determined not to burn them this time. Or set anything on fire. Well, even if she did at least the fire alarm wouldn’t go off. Due to her yanking the batteries out of them. A fire hazard for sure, but Amari could yell at her for it later.

For once, the pair had decided that maybe celebrating anniversaries weren’t for them. After all, the universe wanted to fuck them over every single time. So tonight was just going to be a regular Friday night. Regular dinner instead of takeout, they would catch up on the latest episodes of the new Star Trek reboot, debate on whether to get a puppy (which always ended in them saying no because they were both too busy to take care of one), and then fall asleep on the couch. It was absolutely perfect.

Amari set her purse down by the door and stuck her keys on the hook. “Work was okay. Pretty quiet except for that accident. No fatalities, so that’s a bonus.” She wandered into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around Tina’s waist. She planted a soft kiss against her wife’s neck. “That smells great, what are you making?”

“Some new chicken casserole thing that Hank gave me a recipe for.”

“You mean Connor and Nines gave it to him and he gave it to you.”

“Same thing.”

Amari laughed and Tina wiggled around to properly hug her wife. “I missed you today.”

“So did I.” Shani pressed her lips to Tina’s mouth. “I’m going to go shower and then we can eat this wonderful creation or monstrosity that you’ve made.”

“Monstrosity?” Tina pretended to be offended, “Babe it could be an inedible disaster.”

Amari snorted and disappeared into the bathroom. Tina grinned and watched her wife leave. “I love your perfect butt!” She yelled.

“I love yours more!” Amari yelled back.

Tina couldn’t stop the stupid grin on her face as turned back around to focus on her cookies. The oven beeped and Tina was quick to grab the pot holders so she could shimmy Hank’s chicken thing out.

“Ow fuck!” She growled and nearly dropped it as the heat seeped through the hole in the cloth. She really should get them changed. But also she was lazy.

“I keep telling you we should go change them,” Amari said stepping out with a towel wrapped around her head and dressed in the baggiest shirt she owned.

“I know,” Tina sighed, “But these have served us so well.”   
“Meaning you don’t want to shell out the five dollars it would cost to replace them.”   
“Obviously.”

Amari laughed and removed the towel to scrub at her wet hair.

Tina smiled, smitten with her wife and the life they were living. “I love you so much,” she said.

The wet towel was ditched on the back of the chair, “I love you too.” Amari navigated the kitchen and kissed her wife.

Tina’s hands found Shani’s waist and drew her closer. Soft lips met again and Tina felt like she was melting. She loved the times like these where everything just felt perfect. The world was right because Amari was in her arms and their love was the only thing that mattered.

She sighed deeply into the kiss content to keep kissing until they ran out of breath and died together. The sigh encouraged Shani’s hands to dip under Tina’s shirt to she could rub her hands against her wife’s soft skin.

Tina couldn’t stop the soft moan that escaped her lips. Amari knew exactly where to touch her to get her worked up. Intentionally or not, the bedroom was suddenly all Tina could think about.

She worked one hand up higher under her wife’s shirt while the other pulled her waist until they were flush against each other. Two could play at that game. Tina grinned as she was rewarded with a stutter in Amari’s breath.

Suddenly, Amari was stepping away. Her face was flushed and she grabbed Tina’s wrist. “Bedroom,” she ordered, “Now.”

Tina didn’t even blink twice. She chased after her wife into their bedroom stumbling over their own feet in their struggle to tear each other’s clothes off. Their sleeping shirts and underwear were tossed carelessly and Tina used the last bit of her self control to push Shani backwards onto the bed.

She climbed on top of her wife and hungrily smashed their lips together. Amari’s hands found their way into Tina’s hair and she moaned as Tina’s lips moved to suck hickies into her neck. Their hands wandered over the others’ body trying to grasp as much skin as possible. It didn’t take long for Tina and Amari to work up a thin sheen of sweat.

Tina attempted another kiss but Shani’s mouth couldn’t seem to move properly and they ended up just panting into each others’ mouths. Apparently, not having sex for a week could really work them both up but Tina was delighted for the rare opportunity to dominate her wife. Which, they both knew wouldn’t last very long if Amari decided to gain the upper hand.

Tina’s kissed a line down Amari’s neck, breasts, and stomach until her mouth was in the perfect position. She let out a breath of hot air onto Shani’s pussy. A soft, wanton moan filled the air and Tina felt herself quivering. She  _ loved  _ that reaction and loved that it was her affecting Shani in that way. Tina let out another breath teasing what was to come.

There was a sharp tug in Tina’s hair and her eyes met Amari’s. One look and they both knew exactly who was in control.

“Stop teasing,” Amari’s voice sounded breathless and weak but it commanded Tina in a way that no one else could.

Doing exactly as her wife wanted, Tina pressed her mouth against and Amari’s pussy. There was a gasp of “Oh fuck,” as she slipped her tongue out of her mouth and licked a strip up up Amari’s soft folds.

Tina felt like she had died and gone to heaven. The wondrous noises that her wife was making made Tina shiver with delight. She wiggled her tongue and lapped at Amari’s clit like it was the most delicious thing she’s ever tasted. And, at the moment, it was.

Slick coated her mouth and Tina moaned into Amari’s pussy. The vibrations caused a wave of pleasure and Amari’s whined lifting her hips for more pressure. Tina slipped her tongue inside feeling the soft walls clenching around her.

The grip in Tina’s hair grew stronger to the point where it was almost painful. Amari seemed to realize this because her grip loosened by a fraction. That wouldn’t do at all. Keeping her tongue inside her wife, Tina reached up with one hand to ease Amari’s finger back in her hair.

“Oh?” Amari chuckled breathlessly, “You like that?” She tugged Tina’s hair making the officer moan which sent vibrations into Amari causing her own moan. “Fuck, my love.”

Tina slipped her tongue out and attached her lips to Amari’s clit sucking hard. A loud wait burst forth and Tina felt slick dripping out. She lapped at her pussy and slipped a finger inside searching for the spot to make her wife wail in ecstasy. She found it with ease and Amari’s hips bucked up involuntarily knocking Tina in the face.

“Ow, fuck!”

Amari jerked up, “Oh my God, Tina, I’m sorry!”

Tina smiled lightly and nuzzled the inside of Amari’s thigh. “No harm done. Besides it means I did good.”

There was a pause and then laughter. “Tina fuck, babe c’mere,” Amari let go of Tina’s hair and reached out for her wife. Tina’s wet mouth pulled away from her wife. She was a little disappointed that she couldn’t keep eating her out until Shani was begging her to stop due to overstimulation.

“You haven’t cum yet,” Tina protested.

Amari pulled Tina up to plant a wet kiss on her lips. “You can make me cum later, right now-” she adjusted so Tina was kneeling over her, “-I want to kiss my wife properly and make up for accidentally bashing her in the face.”

Tina giggled and obliged kissing Aamri. She loved how soft her wife’s lips were and the passion in which Amari kissed her. She felt like she was on top of the universe and could conquer anything as long as Amari was by her side.

Amari’s hands wandered up and down Tina’s sides occasionally brushing over her soft breasts. Briefly she thumbed on of Tina’s nipples causing her knees to quake a litte. A turn on and quirk that Amari knew exactly how to exploit. But, for the moment, she didn’t. There was something else on her mind.

Shani’s hands kept wandering easting up the soft breathiness of Tina’s kisses as her focus was starting to wane. Amari’s hands slid up Tina’s thighs and barely brushed against her pussy before sliding two fingers inside.

“A-ah!” Tina’s arms gave out and her face was smushed next to Amari’s neck.

Amari grinned, “Two fingers already? Were you preparing yourself for me before I got home?”

Tina whined into Shani’s neck and tried to answer but found that there wasn’t breath enough for her to do so.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Amari punctuated her words with a twist of her fingers feeling slick rush down her fingers.

Tina was shaking like it was ten degrees inside their house. She loved how Amari could take her apart like this and reduce her to a quivering, wet mess. Although, she had to admit she was slightly disappointed at not being able to make Amari cum first. Well, Tine realized, she hadn’t cum yet so there was still time to turn the tables. A quick thrust of Amari’s fingers inside Tina vanquished the thought because her legs nearly gave out as pleasure made it almost impossible to concentrate on anything.

“F-fuck, Shan-Shani!” Tina moaned loudly, “P-please.”

Amari grinned and turned her head to press a kiss against Tina’s sweaty forehead, “Please what, my love?” She pressed her thumb against Tina’s clit and felt her wife clenching hard around her fingers.

Tina’s mouth was open and her face scrunched up as orgasm hit her like a fucking train. Amari’s fingers wouldn’t stop even as her legs finally gave out and she collapsed. The orgasm felt like it was never going to stop. Not with the way that Amari kept stimulating her. Bliss was overtaking her but so was overstimulation. She whined and tried to escape the fingers but that was not a possibility. Amari was planting gentle kisses to Tina’s head and finally withdrew her fingers.

Tina gasped, greedily sucking in air. She wanted Amari to feel the same so with every ounce of strength her had in her, Tina manhandled Shani into sitting on her face.

She latched her mouth aggressively on her wife’s pussy sucking with passion. Amari yowled and if it weren’t for Tina’s arms locking her knees into place she would’ve collapsed. She wiggled her hips seeking more friction and Tina was all too willing to give it to her.

Out of the two of them, Tina knew she was better at oral and could turn her wife into slush. From the sound of it, Amari was close and Tina wanted her closer. She unlocked her arms and pushed Shani’s hips down onto her face and found the perfect spot to eat her out without losing too much oxygen. While the thought of passing out while eating out her wife was appealing, she preferred to be conscious to watch pleasure consume her wife.

Amari’s legs were starting to shake and Tina doubled down on her efforts. She knew Amari was close. Shani’s hand slammed against their headboard and she cried out with bliss. Her bones turned to goo and she nearly fell but Tina caught her and eased her down.

Both lay facing each other, out of breath and perfectly content.

“I fucking love you, asshole.” Shani grinned and cuddled against Tina.

Tina nuzzled her wife’s neck and sucked another hickey. “I fucking love you too, dipshit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention that there's a bonus chapter? Well, there's a bonus chapter. ;)


	7. Bonus! Suspiciously Cheap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fuck, okay shut up!” Amari yelled. Silence fell over them and they took a deep breath. “I am a doctor and you are a police officer. We have been in so many stressful situations that are worse than this. We can handle this, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is inspired by Wish.com. I hope y'all can see where this is going. Enjoy!
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Sex (ish?)

“We should’ve done this a lot sooner,” Tina groaned, “Fuck, this is so hot!”

Amari agreed with a kiss, “One thousand fucking percent, I agree.”

The pair were currently in their bedroom trying out a box of sex toys they bought online. Apparently, they’d come across a strangely cheap website but with a decent variety of decent looking sex toys. It had come in a box that morning and the two spent most of their time figuring out what to do with them.

After and accident involving a pair of handcuffs breaking, they decided that maybe bondage wasn’t their style. Tina’s current favorite was the egg vibrator shoved deep inside her. And Amari’s current favorite was the chocolate flavored lube she was eating out of her wife’s pussy.

Tina felt a sharp tug and she let out a loud whine as the vibrations suddenly cut out. Amari’s hot mouth withdrew from her pussy.

Suddenly, there was a very soft, “Uh oh.” 

Tina’s brain was almost to blissed out to hear the words. She jerked and looked at her wife. He head was spinning but she was still stable enough to see the ‘oh fuck’ expression on Amari’s face. “Shani,” she asked slowly, “what was that?’

Amari’s eyes shot up to Tina’s. She was using her ‘please don’t panic look because I fucked something up’ look. “Um…” Amari swallowed hard and held the remote in her hand.

The remote to the vibrator which was connected by a wire to the actual vibrator itself. Except, there was no vibrator attached to it anymore.

It took Tina two seconds to realize what just happened. “OH MY GOD!”

“Tina, I’m sorry! Fuck, I didn’t know it was going to break!”

“Is it stuck!? HOLY shit is it stuck in me!?”

“I don’t know! Can you-” Amari made a vague hand gesture to Tina’s groin region.

“Right yeah,” Tina nodded trying to keep calm. Using her muscles she tried to force the egg out of her. “Fuck! Shani I can’t go to the ER because there’s a vibrator stuck in me!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine!” Amari was panicking, “I’ll just- I’ll just go to the hospital and get- get my supplies.”

“No!” Tina exploded, “That’s too suspicious!”

Amari’s eyes were nearly bugging out of her head, “Any more suspicious than us going to the ER!?”

“I don’t know!?” Tina shrieked.

“Stop yelling at me!”

“I’m not yelling!”

“Yes you are! And you’re making me panic!”

“ _ You’re  _ panicking!?  _ I’m  _ panicking!”

“Fuck, okay shut up!” Amari yelled. Silence fell over them and they took a deep breath. “I am a doctor and you are a police officer. We have been in so many stressful situations that are worse than this. We can handle this, love.”

Tina nodded. “You’re right.” She took a deep breath and sagged back onto their bed. “At least it’ll be a funny story ten years from now.”

“Ten years?” Amari scoffed, “it’ll be funny tomorrow.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you, too. Now, let’s get you to the hospital and get that thing out.”

Tina sighed. “Shani, can you promise me something?”

Amari nodded, “Anything for you.”

“No more buying suspiciously cheap sex toys online.”

“Agreed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! That's it y'all! I hope you enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it <3
> 
> Give me about a week and I'll be back with some DBH one-shots because rA9 knows I have SO MANY to actually put out there. HMU if you've got a request :) Until then, bye!


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